Sunday, March 18, 2007

Austin Weird Watch: South By South Weird

Just a few quick observations:

1. Did all the hipsters call each other and say, "Dude, wear your skinny jeans, funky tennis shoes or beat-up boots and a band t-shirt. Oh, and the hair this year is an asymmetrical cut, dyed black with random blonde streaks. See if you can get a bindfolded 4-year-old with blunty sissors to do the cutting. L8ter!"

2. I'm really glad to be in a neighborhood that's near all the action, but I can't say I'm thrilled to be able to listen to bands from 11 am until I fall asleep. In my house.

3. I like hip-hop as much as the next 43-year-old white woman, which is to say, not a whole lot. Maybe enough to not be a complete redneck dork. But I could hear the performances from Auditorium Shores (again, in my house) and, damn, hip hop doesn't travel well, accoustically speaking. THUD-uh, THUD-uh, THUD-uh gets pretty dull after a few hours.

4. Here's a conversation I had a week ago, while trying to decide on a restaurant to celebrate Hubby's birthday.

POM: Where do you wanna go?
Hub: How about Hill's?
POM: [to friend, on the phone] Hills ok?
Friend: It's a venue.
POM: Damn it.

Lather, rinse, repeat, until we settled on Little Mexico, which has no performance space and is a family-oriented place. So there were no hipsters until we were about to leave, at which time we spotted black, asymmetrical hair with blonde highlights. Check, please!

5. You know where else you can get a meal in Austin, during SXSW, without having to wait forever behind a bunch of badge-wearing hipsters? Luby's.

6. All the crusty homeless people have relocated away from downtown and landed in South Austin. Thanks, APD! Because the tranny junkies and Big Bus Stop Guy really needed to enjoy the company of all the Crazy-Eyed Teen Punk Homeless With Puppies crowd.

I used to give money to those guys until one dude screamed at me anyway, which didn't matter nearly as much as the fact that I've never yet seen one of them with a full-grown dog. Just puppies. I try not to think about what happens to the puppies that they never seen to reach maturity, at least not with their original owner.

On the other hand, I'm such a sap I always give a buck to the veterans or the guy whose sign just says, hell with it, I wanna beer.

7. I hate grupsters. I was wearing a pair of jeans with a hole in the knee (ok, my decent jeans were in the wash and I blew out the knee on the old pair chasing after a toddler) and the other moms at the playground were giving me the Not One of Us stinkeye. I wanted to say, no, no, look! I'm wearing Keds! Not Vans! Not Chucks!

But then, I don't have a lot of time to interact with other moms at the playground because my Sweet Baby Girl thinks it's just too much fun to play the game called, Catch Me As I Leap From A High Place, Mommy! Whee!

Actually, all she says is, I jump to you! Which is all the warning I get.


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