Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Am I a Bad Mom if I... around for half an hour with BabyGirl in the carseat, waiting for her to fall asleep so I don't have to get her down for a nap by actually discussing the issue with her? Because, negotiating with a 2-year old? Not happening. Even when she says, adorably, that she's "leepy" and I reply, "feeling sleepy, sweetie?" her answer is always, No. Ok, then, maybe not a bad mom, just a bad citizen of the world, wasting all that gas. Sorry. Hey, at least I dropped off the drycleaning.

How about this: if I let her have a lunch of pretzels, oranges and milk? Spread out over two hours? Shouldn't there be a vegie in there somewhere? Or meat? Ok, how about if the only meat that she's eaten in the last, oh, fortnight or so, has been either bologna or meatloaf? And maybe a bite of chicken that she spat out? Does broccoli count if she used it as a means of conveying ranch dressing into her mouth?

Am I a bad mom of I let her drink the barbecue sauce at Coopers? At least it's a vinegar-based sauce, not the sweet ketchupy stuff. God, she really loved that stuff.

Am I a bad mom if I take her to the organic farm stand and don't go introduce myself to all the other moms socializing over by the chicken coop? In my defense, it was a pretty morning, nice and cool, so I decided instead to sit with her in my lap and drink coffee and watch the chickens waddle about and cackle at each other. (Insert joke here about the same behavior in the moms, haw haw haw.) Sue me, I'm an introvert.

Am I a bad mom because I don't hold a grudge against the dog who nipped my daughter?

Am I a bad mom because I don't brush or comb my daugher's hair when it's too sticky to work with without making her cry? And I never use those adorable little clippies to keep her hair out of her eyes? My only real standards for child grooming are that she gets bathed every few days, I wash her hands after a messy potty break and I hand her a kleenex when her nose is crusty. Oh, and we attempt tooth-brushing nightly, with varying success. Much more than that is a battle.

Am I a bad mom because the only stuff she owns with her name on it is the stuff she takes to school and I wrote her name on it at the direction of her teachers? Most of the other kids have professionally personalized lunch sacks, tote bags and backpacks. I was going to use brown paper bags when I realized that I had to keep her bologna cold.

Am I a bad mom because I let my daughter drink milk from a bottle? Not at night to go to sleep, which is terrible for the teeth, but during the day.

Am I a bad mom because I laughed and laughed when she dumped out the bottle of bubble liquid on daddy's head? Hey, he put her up on his shoulders without noticing that she had it in her hand. But still, I'm not sure if she learned the lesson that We Don't Dump Stuff On Daddy's head.

Eh. Whatever. I'm sure there's worse moms out there. At least the child's happy, right?


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